Yesterday was rather eventful. As I walked back to my office following an enchanting journey to make a deposit at the bank, I passed a group of guys engaged in the popular local sport of loitering about the Marta station. One of them hollered, “Woooo-hoooo!” to which I did not respond. I know what you’re thinking: whoa, she must have a will of iron to be able to resist such a witty and seductive bon mot as “Woooo-hooo!”
Since I was playing hard-to-get, the guys stepped it up a notch by yelling, “Mmmm-MMMMM!” and “Hey, you a hottie!” What I want to know is, has this EVER actually worked? In the entire history of guydom, has a chick ever responded to the dulcet allure of “Hey, you a hottie!” by stopping in her tracks, walking over to the guy and saying, “Oh, you smooth talker you! Do me, do me NOW!”??? Didn’t think so.
Once I turned the corner, I saw a great deal of police activity across the street from my office! Ever since we’ve been in this building (1998 or so), a guy across the street has had a little stand where he sells ice-cold sodas, a selection of chips and candy, sunglasses and purses. We often buy drinks and treats from him because his merchandise is quite a bit cheaper than the same items at the newsstand further down the block. I couldn’t figure out why he was getting busted, as he has the appropriate street-vendor permits and keeps them posted on his kiosk like a good boy. Well, lo and behold, the Kate Spade and Louis Vuitton purses he’s been selling are - brace yourselves - FAKE! I am so glad the Atlanta Police Department is on top of this heinous criminal activity.
I don’t care to look up a bunch of crime statistics but I’m prepared to assume that if Atlanta is no better than any other major city, at least it’s no worse. We have our fair share of burglaries, muggings, rapes and murders, but by goddess I will no longer have to live my life cowering under the threat of counterfeit Prada and faux Fendi! All those who care about me can rest easy, now that a posse of Atlanta’s finest has saved me from the clear and present danger posed by knock-off designer purses. Even better, consider this: should I get carjacked or mugged, I can be certain that I have lost a genuine Prada bag worth $450, not a sorry cheap ripoff for which I paid only $25. Thank all the gods and goddesses for the diligence and hard work of the Atlanta Police Department. We probably don’t even need the security guard in our lobby anymore.
Since I was playing hard-to-get, the guys stepped it up a notch by yelling, “Mmmm-MMMMM!” and “Hey, you a hottie!” What I want to know is, has this EVER actually worked? In the entire history of guydom, has a chick ever responded to the dulcet allure of “Hey, you a hottie!” by stopping in her tracks, walking over to the guy and saying, “Oh, you smooth talker you! Do me, do me NOW!”??? Didn’t think so.
Once I turned the corner, I saw a great deal of police activity across the street from my office! Ever since we’ve been in this building (1998 or so), a guy across the street has had a little stand where he sells ice-cold sodas, a selection of chips and candy, sunglasses and purses. We often buy drinks and treats from him because his merchandise is quite a bit cheaper than the same items at the newsstand further down the block. I couldn’t figure out why he was getting busted, as he has the appropriate street-vendor permits and keeps them posted on his kiosk like a good boy. Well, lo and behold, the Kate Spade and Louis Vuitton purses he’s been selling are - brace yourselves - FAKE! I am so glad the Atlanta Police Department is on top of this heinous criminal activity.
I don’t care to look up a bunch of crime statistics but I’m prepared to assume that if Atlanta is no better than any other major city, at least it’s no worse. We have our fair share of burglaries, muggings, rapes and murders, but by goddess I will no longer have to live my life cowering under the threat of counterfeit Prada and faux Fendi! All those who care about me can rest easy, now that a posse of Atlanta’s finest has saved me from the clear and present danger posed by knock-off designer purses. Even better, consider this: should I get carjacked or mugged, I can be certain that I have lost a genuine Prada bag worth $450, not a sorry cheap ripoff for which I paid only $25. Thank all the gods and goddesses for the diligence and hard work of the Atlanta Police Department. We probably don’t even need the security guard in our lobby anymore.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home