The Hellhole

Sunday, March 13, 2016

I dreamed that I went to IKEA with Val Kilmer, and he wanted us to watch this cooking demonstration.  I wasn't interested (it involved asparagus) so I wandered off through the store.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that IKEA had placed waitresses in strategic locations who were giving out free Cosmopolitans.  I had a couple and was enjoying one as I looked at a display of water features.  [Does IKEA sell water features?  I've never been to IKEA.]  At that point Val caught up to me and said we had to get our stuff and go.  This made me very angry and I kept yelling that I didn't want any cheap, ugly, Dutch furniture.  I threw such a tantrum that Val had to summon Alan to remove me from the premises.

When I related this to Alan, he looked thoughtful and mused, "Hmmm...I could see that happening."

"I don't know what her problem is.  I mostly dream about bacon, and hot little bitches.  I would like to go to that IKEA place, though.  They'd have lots of stuff to widdle on.  I enjoy widdling on things."