The Hellhole

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A HUSBAND MEME! Because can there ever be too much Alan on this blog?

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

Something utterly cool like Feasting On Waves or Invader Zim, or something so deadly boring it's scary, like those DIY shows where they rebuild a bathroom or relandscape someone's lawn. I have no idea why he watches that crap because he handles a home improvement/repair by Googling and then picking up the phone. Not that there's anything wrong with that, oh hells no, but the allure escapes me.

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Bleu Cheese. Always and forever.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
One?!? ONE?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It would be a shorter list if I listed foods he DOES like. Let's see - he hates: shrimp, lobster, salmon - well, actually all seafood and fish of every kind, artichokes, bell peppers, green beans, olives, peas, fried okra, eggplant, honeydew melon, cauliflower, coconut, eggs...well, actually, let me revert to my original idea and list foods he does like: pork, pork barbecue, sausage, steak, potatoes, corn on the cob, and Key Lime pie.

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?
Coke. He doesn't drink. So I guess beer, wine, Scotch, rum, and vodka can go on the 'hate' list too...

5. Where did he go to high school?
Butler High School.

6. What size shoe does he wear?
Sometimes 9.5 and sometimes 10, it depends on the shoe.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
I'm not sure he really "collects" geek magazines (Linux Journal, MacWorld, Cook's Illustrated, Linux Today, MacAddict, CompuGeek Quarterly, Consumer Reports etc.) so much as he just never gets around to throwing them out. He has cool CDs and DVDs and almost as many books as I do. He doesn't collect weird stuff like spoons of the world or Hummel figurines or anything, 'cause - y'know, he's not an elderly crazy cat lady.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
He eats PB&J most often (crunchy peanut butter, Concord Grape Smucker's) but I think his favorite in terms of sheer gastronomic enjoyment is a Jersey Mike's sub.

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
Well, he eats a PB&J almost every day, for snack if not for lunch. He'd probably eat barbecue - ribs or pulled pork barbecue sammiches. Or both. He likes the barbecue.

10. What is his favorite cereal?
He doesn't really eat cereal much - he tends toward a cream cheese bagel with ham (yes, I KNOW!) or grits and sausage for breakfast, but when he goes on a cereal kick it's Total. He's all nutritious and stuff. Me, I consider the inherent value of the Vitamin C when I have a mimosa for brekkie...

11. What would he never wear?
A kilt. Loafers. A Fort Lauderdale fur. Pastels. A porkpie hat.

12. What is his favorite sports team?
He doesn't watch sports unless I force him but he tends to be well-natured about it and pull for my teams, so: Notre Dame in college football, Thrashers and Leafs hockey, Ferrari in Formula One.

13. Who will he vote for?
I'm not sure but that's because he's not sure. He's a Libertarian but finding it difficult to reconcile himself to Bob Barr. The other alternatives strike him as even more frightening.

14. Who is his best friend?
Mark (Mr. Nancy if you read my friends' blogs).

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
There are probably several things - he hasn't said - but I'd guess lose my temper. I get mad very easily and very intensely when something that ought to be easy/ought to work/ought not to be an utter nightmare of total fuckwittage turns out the opposite. He is a lot more easygoing or...maybe that's not the right way to put it. He is more realistic and expects things to go all wrong all the time anyway so he's not surprised or the least bit frustrated when it happens. He tends to be rather taken aback by my ire when things don't work as they ought or when I'm confronted by rampant stupidity.

16. How many states has he lived in?
6 states and 2 countries that I can remember - born in Germany when his dad was stationed overseas in the military, Texas, Georgia, South Carolina (twice), Rhode Island (for school) Massachusetts (summer working on Nantucket), Oklahoma and now back to Georgia.

17. What is his heritage?
German, mostly. And total cuteness.

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Chocolate with chocolate chips, fudge icing and truffles on top. And I'd write "Happy Birfday Alan!" instead of 'birthday'. Cause I'm cute like that.

19. Did he play sports in high school?
I don't think he did in high school. He played football and soccer when he was younger but then he exploded his knee playing soccer; I'm not sure exactly when that happened, but I have the impression that if it was high school, it was very early on. All I know for sure he did in high school (besides going to Governor's Honors) was ride his bad-ass motorcycle. Oh, yeah, he was a hot bad boy on a bitchin' motorcycle. Mmmmm....

20. What could he spend hours doing?
Surfing the internet, trying out new things/programs/applications on his computer(s), IMing with his friends.


  • There can never be "too much Alan" anywhere! I love him, too!


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:13 AM  

  • I may just have to steal this... :)

    By Blogger Z, at 8:32 AM  

  • Oh, please steal it, Z! I'd love to read yours!

    By Blogger Helly, at 8:39 AM  

  • To Alan: I just have to tell you two things. I, too, love Total cereal. And I think you'd look damn spiffy in a pork pie hat. Rethink it.

    By Blogger Nancy, at 7:38 PM  

  • Bitch please…

    By Blogger harold martinez, at 8:23 PM  

  • Erm...bitch please what???

    By Blogger Helly, at 9:43 PM  

  • The Alan you describe is the same one who sat across the table from me as a child and put tall bottles and salt and pepper shakers in front of my plate so he could not see the brussels sprouts and other very yucky vegetables I was eating. It wasn't that he wasn't exposed to the better veggies in life it was his father egging him on.woe is me

    Mom B

    By Blogger Bob bowman, at 3:09 PM  

  • Yay, Alan Faq!
    We're in total agreement politically. Bob Barr gives me the wiggins, too. I have to steal this.


    By Blogger Topcat, at 7:43 PM  

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