After hearing a radio commercial mentioning a St. Patrick’s Day sale:

Alan: Are we doing anything for St. Patrick’s Day?
Helly: I hadn’t given it any thought. We could do, I suppose.
Alan: What do you want to do?
Helly: We could skip dinner and pretend it’s the potato famine.
Alan: Let’s have a Potato Famine Party! “Come hungry - leave hungry!”
Helly: That’s great. We should totally do that.
Alan: We can exploit them too - how can we exploit the proletariat?
Helly: Make them till our backyard?
Alan: After that, we’ll discriminate against them! Make them go next door to the Turner’s house to get something to eat, and we’ll have Mr. Turner put up a sign that says “No blacks, no dogs, no Irish”.
Helly: Then everyone can come back here, we can choose up sides and end the evening with a huge fight: Catholics versus Protestants!
Alan: It’ll be a good time. (sighs contentedly) A real good time.