Well, of course it took more than just me whining that I wanted it. Still, once I presented Alan with proof, via Flippy, that The Fauxhawk is "what all the almost 42 year olds are doing these days", he was persuaded. Behold, the glory of the Fauxhawk:

He wouldn't wear it to the mall, which was a darned shame. I promised I'd buy him anything he wanted at Hot Topic, but he refused, muttering something about his dignity. Ha, "dignity!" As if!


He should have listened to me, because we ran into Joy & Clarissa at the mall, and I think Clarissa would have truly appreciated the Fauxhawk.

Then later on, he got even by making me nearly wet my pants laughing when we got a wrong number call and he shouted, "Snakes on a muthafuckin' PHOOOONE!"

I was going to post young Mark Jackson's phone number, too - thanks to Caller ID, I know who our wrong number caller was - but Alan wouldn't let me. He says that would be "too mean". This, from the man who let me publish the pictures above.

Still, Mark? If your parents never bothered to tell you, next time you wrong-ring someone, at least mumble "sorry" or "excuse the call" or similar, instead of merely hanging up in their ear, or I'm giving the entire internet your digits. Alan won't always be here to stop me. Sometimes he'll be in the bathroom, trying to comb the Aussie Instant Freeze out of his Fauxhawk. I'm just sayin'.