Feeling rather peevish today...the grammar/language peeve o’the day is redundancy. This gets on my nerves even more when used by supposedly professional writers, which happens often in my local newspaper. It is not unusual to read something like, “Police are seeking the suspect, who fled at a high rate of speed in a 1992 Ford Explorer. The Explorer is blue in color with South Carolina plates.” Rate of speed. RATE OF SPEED. AAAAGH! Speed IS a rate! It is a rate of motion equal to distance traveled divided by time! It is by definition a rate! Rate of change of distance with respect to time = SPEED! And ‘blue in color’ - as opposed to being blue in taste, blue in smell, or blue in propensity, I guess. Don’t even get me started on ‘close proximity’ which the newspapers and local television stations use with appalling regularity. If something is in proximity to something else, it IS close! That’s what the freakin’ word MEANS. You can’t be in far proximity to something. AAAAGH!
Another peeve is television stations which morph as soon as I leave town. Whenever I’m not in Atlanta, I find all these funny, interesting, entertaining programs that I’ve never seen on my own t.v. and cannot seem to find again, although I have those same stations. The overall cable menu may vary from region to region, but I tend to check out the same stations I watch at home (ESPN, MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, etc.) When Bo and I were in Indianapolis, we were reading books and channel surfing. VH1 (which I get at home) had this HILARIOUS program on called Camp Chaos Illustrated, or something like that. It was animated and one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. One short was “Time Pervs” featuring Bill Clinton, Pee-Wee Herman and Larry Flynt as time-travelers trying to stop President Clinton from making a big mistake named Monica. They succeed in stopping Real Clinton but Time-Traveling Clinton succumbs instead. Then there was a commercial for the new Dodge SUV, the “Environmental Holocaust” which had, among other features, a dump button so Dad could release gallons of gas directly onto the highway. Had I seen that show prior to leaving town? NO. Have I seen that show since? NO. Have I seen it listed anywhere on the DirecTv grid guide? NO. Is it listed under “Shows” on VH1's website? NO. At least, not under “C”, “I” or “V”. I found it on the wonderful, always-reliable imdb, though, so I know it wasn’t a figment of my deranged imagination.
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
Another peeve is television stations which morph as soon as I leave town. Whenever I’m not in Atlanta, I find all these funny, interesting, entertaining programs that I’ve never seen on my own t.v. and cannot seem to find again, although I have those same stations. The overall cable menu may vary from region to region, but I tend to check out the same stations I watch at home (ESPN, MTV, VH1, Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, etc.) When Bo and I were in Indianapolis, we were reading books and channel surfing. VH1 (which I get at home) had this HILARIOUS program on called Camp Chaos Illustrated, or something like that. It was animated and one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. One short was “Time Pervs” featuring Bill Clinton, Pee-Wee Herman and Larry Flynt as time-travelers trying to stop President Clinton from making a big mistake named Monica. They succeed in stopping Real Clinton but Time-Traveling Clinton succumbs instead. Then there was a commercial for the new Dodge SUV, the “Environmental Holocaust” which had, among other features, a dump button so Dad could release gallons of gas directly onto the highway. Had I seen that show prior to leaving town? NO. Have I seen that show since? NO. Have I seen it listed anywhere on the DirecTv grid guide? NO. Is it listed under “Shows” on VH1's website? NO. At least, not under “C”, “I” or “V”. I found it on the wonderful, always-reliable imdb, though, so I know it wasn’t a figment of my deranged imagination.
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
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