So I bought some booty from Publix...

I also bought some premium OJ (with calcium added) which is a long-standing bone of contention between me and my mom, also known as "She who forced me to drink disgusting frozen orange-flavored gelatinous goo reconstituted with water through most of my childhood, thus ruining my formative years altogether instead of buying fresh-squeezed like a decent caring mother"...but I digress. What was I writing about? Oh, yeah, I bought me some Pirate Booty.

Heh heh. Booty.

See? Here are some more pictures of my register receipt, because after all, what could be more interesting on the internet than Helly's grocery purchases? (Sadly, the receipt was folded right in the middle of the booty, like a paper buttcrack, but there are many shots to choose from and I'm sure you can see enough to satisfy your booty needs.)

Pirate Booty comes in a bag.
The cashier who was checking us out did a double-take and gave me a funny look. I told her, "I have no idea what it tastes like either, but how could I resist? You know you'd have bought it if you'd seen it first!" Then she read the package and said, "Actually, it sounds pretty good - let me know how it tastes," and then we all made some ribald jokes about how pirate booty was likely to taste (general verdict: salty) and we laughed when the sale rang up on the flat-screen monitor facing us, because after all, Alan and I are very mature, highly educated individuals so it takes nothing more than the word "booty" in print to make us laugh.

Heh. Look at my booty on the countertop.