I have a couple of items of personal slang, derived from an old SNL skit whereby I refer to certain products not by name, but by function. For example, my deoderant is not "deoderant" or "Secret", but "pits-don't-stink". Mouthwash is neither mouthwash nor Listerine, but "breath-don't-stink". Febreeze is "house-don't-stink". Doggy shampoo is variously "puppy-don't-stink" or "Sprocket-don't-stink".

So today we are about to embark on our regularly scheduled weekly trip to the grocery store, and Alan is checking some item levels and supply. I hear him rummaging in the hall closet, muttering, "Fangpaste, two tubes each...pits-don't-stink, Helly's got two, okay [writing on list] pits-don't-stink, Alan..."

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. He's come over. To the dark side.