The Boss and I have a long-standing business relationship with this fellow who’s a very nice person whom I quite like. He and The Boss are friends, too, in the sense that they belong to the same country club, occasionally golf together - but I don’t think they call each other up on a daily basis and hang out every chance they get, so they’re friends but not close close friends. But we do business together, chat about our families and about sports, he occasionally calls just to make sure things are going well or “just to touch base”. As time passes, Nice Guy’s business gets larger and more successful, so he hires New Guy to assist him.
New Guy comes to a few meetings, I interact with him in the sense that I call him with general questions, I talk to him about competitive quotes for new ventures The Boss is considering, stuff like that. I despise him. To use a cliche, he rubs me the wrong way. But here’s the thing: New Guy has never said anything offensive to me, never done anything rude, he is not condescending, unintelligent or inept at his business. He has never been the least bit unpleasant, he doesn’t look me in the boobs instead of the eyes when he speaks to me, he doesn’t tell off-colour jokes. I have no irrational reason to dislike him, either, like he wears too much stinky cologne or I hate his taste in ties or he always has food caught between in his teeth. There is completely no reason for me to dislike him, but every time I have to talk to him, he sets my teeth on edge. He’s utterly repugnant and I don’t know why.
One day The Boss wants to know something but I can’t find the answer in my records so he tells me to call New Guy. I guess I got a strange look on my face because The Boss asked, “What? What's wrong?” so I burst out, “I absolutely can’t stand that guy! I don’t know why!” The Boss exclaimed, “Oh, I KNOW! There’s just something about him! I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stand him either!” We talked about it and he echoed my feelings: the guy’s never done anything bad or wrong, he’s competent businesswise, but for some intangible reason, we find him loathesome. It was oddly comforting to find that I was not alone in my feelings, both the dislike of New Guy and my inability to discern a cause.
My friend Phil ends each of his blog entries with a question: “The Oracle would like to know [something].” The last few have been what you majored in in college, what’s your favorite pirate movie, if you prefer American or foreign cars, etc. I’m not going to steal Phil’s gimmick, but I would like to know if you’ve had a similar experience. Have you ever taken an instant, irrational dislike to someone without knowing why? If so, tell me about it!
New Guy comes to a few meetings, I interact with him in the sense that I call him with general questions, I talk to him about competitive quotes for new ventures The Boss is considering, stuff like that. I despise him. To use a cliche, he rubs me the wrong way. But here’s the thing: New Guy has never said anything offensive to me, never done anything rude, he is not condescending, unintelligent or inept at his business. He has never been the least bit unpleasant, he doesn’t look me in the boobs instead of the eyes when he speaks to me, he doesn’t tell off-colour jokes. I have no irrational reason to dislike him, either, like he wears too much stinky cologne or I hate his taste in ties or he always has food caught between in his teeth. There is completely no reason for me to dislike him, but every time I have to talk to him, he sets my teeth on edge. He’s utterly repugnant and I don’t know why.
One day The Boss wants to know something but I can’t find the answer in my records so he tells me to call New Guy. I guess I got a strange look on my face because The Boss asked, “What? What's wrong?” so I burst out, “I absolutely can’t stand that guy! I don’t know why!” The Boss exclaimed, “Oh, I KNOW! There’s just something about him! I don’t know what it is, but I can’t stand him either!” We talked about it and he echoed my feelings: the guy’s never done anything bad or wrong, he’s competent businesswise, but for some intangible reason, we find him loathesome. It was oddly comforting to find that I was not alone in my feelings, both the dislike of New Guy and my inability to discern a cause.
My friend Phil ends each of his blog entries with a question: “The Oracle would like to know [something].” The last few have been what you majored in in college, what’s your favorite pirate movie, if you prefer American or foreign cars, etc. I’m not going to steal Phil’s gimmick, but I would like to know if you’ve had a similar experience. Have you ever taken an instant, irrational dislike to someone without knowing why? If so, tell me about it!
3 Comments:
There was this sweet, kind, smart, attractive lady who came to our Credit Department shortly after I was hired at the Golf Company. She took an instant liking to me (?!) and I an equally instant DISLIKING to her! Why? I dunno. Still don't. She was cheerful, attractive,smart, funny, nice to animals, loved her kids, religious without advertising it, and I. could. not. STAND. her. She always remembered my birthday with some small, tasteful gift; gave me a 'special' Xmas gift every year, etc. and I. could.not.stand.her!
Mom
By
Anonymous, at 2:35 PM
Yeah, I'm afraid to indicate who even in your comments, but I'll just say, it's a very similar experience. Perfectly nice, decent person who, as far as I can tell, wishes me well. There are actually many things about her I like, but it doesn't add up to liking her. Her sense of humor and way of speaking is just jarring to me, and even though she never says anything mean or offensive, I'm always at a total loss as to how to react. It is next to impossible for me to carry on anything like a normal conversation with her, but somehow I don't think she notices.
By
Anonymous Me, at 10:43 PM
It's so weird, isn't it? I think this is sort of like when dogs don't like someone... certainly a dog can't articulate why they don't like someone, but their fur will bristle and they'll just "not take to" certain people.
I suspect we can be the same way... maybe certain humans have a vibration or an energy or *something* that your subconscious picks up on. Your conscious can't put its finger on it, but all you know is that the person rubs you wrong.
Not to cast aspersions on the fellow, but I wonder if they did a background check before he was hired. Very odd, I know, but sometimes you just get an intuitive sense of a person's true character, even when nothing externally appears amiss.
By
Anonymous, at 8:23 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home