The Hellhole

Friday, June 04, 2004

TOLD YOU SO! TOLD YOU SO! TOLD YOU SO!

An e-mail has arrived from my mom! This is a real e-mail from her, not my fictional rendering of one.

I CANNOT believe you don't remember Mrs. Mitchell - Mark's mamma. She was the tax commissioner for years and years and they had a daughter your own age but I can't remember her name....Shelly? Kelly? Michelle? something like that. You remember the old doctor Gram took me to when I was only 8, Dr. Mitchell? Well, Carol married his son by his second wife and they had all these kids but then they divorced and Carol married some old rich guy whose name I don't recall but it doesn't matter because he is NOT FROM AROUND HERE anyway and nobody knows WHO HIS PEOPLE ARE so even though he's rich it doesn't count and they were good friends with Ola Mae and Robert Sam House who had that daughter Kelly your age. Remember, now?

I replied: well, that explains some of it but I still don't understand how the Mitchells were related to Frankie Wainwright...and by the way, I do realize that you are only being a good sport about this because YOU OWE ME FOR THE ORANGE GELATINOUS GOO!

Mom answers: well, no, I'm being a good sport about this because a) I'm a genuinely nice good-sport type person and b) I'm FAMOUS! I'm in the BLOG! YAY ME! And they are related because Carol's momma and my momma were 2nd cousins once removed because Mrs. Bryant was Aunt Dessa's sister's girl. And Aunt Dessa married my grandmother's brother. It is SO SIMPLE! See?

Too bad none of you took me up on that bet. I'd be a richer girl by now! Then again, just as well. If I had extra money, I'd just have to spend it on flowers for Frankie Wainwright's funeral.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!

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