The Hellhole

Monday, June 07, 2004

First off - thanks to alert reader Andreas, who pointed out that there is yet another DVD encoding region which I neglected to mention - airlines! Airlines have their own region for the in-flight movies - isn’t that wild? A region unto themselves, which makes sense if you think about it, as I have always suspected that airlines run on a very different space-time continuum than the rest of us.

Secondly, what a weekend! Saturday sucked - errands and miscellaneous crapola all day. Then Sunday...whoa, Sunday. Nancy was coming up for lunch, due about noon. When the phone rang at 11:30 and I saw her cellphone number, I figured she was calling to tell me she was on the road but running late. Oh, how I wish that’s what she had been calling about!!! In a totally calm voice that would have been comical had the situation been different, Nancy says, “Hey, Helly? Listen, I’ve just been in a terrible car accident. I’m standing here by the side of the road. My car is destroyed, so I don’t think I’m gonna make it today.” AAAAAAAAAG!!!

I choke out, “Are you okay?” and she replies, “Oh, I’m fine, just...devastated. You should see my poor little car. Oh, here comes a cop to talk to me. I’ll call you back.” When she called back, I remembered to ask what I should have earlier, if she needed me to come to get her. Her husband was already en route (the accident happened a lot closer to her house than mine) so I just reconfirmed that she was okay.

About fifteen minutes after that, she called to ask if I still wanted to do lunch. Her husband had suggested that she borrow her mom’s car and join me anyway, so as to salvage something fun from an otherwise terrible experience, so that’s what she did. When she arrived, I was so relieved to see for myself that she was okay that I hugged her three or four times (I am not a huggy sort of person). I then plied her with too much wine and made her sick - what a pal, eh? As for the accident, someone had hit her from behind, knocked her into the truck in front of her and spun her about. Thankfully, she was fine, no back pains or anything - just understandably upset at the destruction of her poor Saturn and relieved that she had left her infant son with his daddy. Next time we get together, I’m thinking I’ll go to Athens.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!

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