The Pope’s will has been read and he didn’t leave me ANYTHING. Yes, you read that right: I inherit NOTHING from the Holy Father. I wasn’t expecting much; I mean, I knew I wasn’t gonna get the Grail - but I was hoping for a censor or two, maybe a few jeweled chalices to perk up the dining room, at least. Then Prince Ranier of Monaco died, who also didn’t leave me a frickin’ thing. I wanted a casino or a yacht, at least - he had plenty. Selfish.

I’m packing up to move my office. That’s upsetting on a number of levels. It makes me sad to move because I’ve been here since 1998. I liked both my office and the building itself; everyone here is very pleasant and friendly. I’m also a very orderly, everything-in-its-place kind of person so I hate the upheaval and disarray associated with moving. But The Boss was adamant, so I’m packing. I won’t have nearly as cool an office. Right now my windows overlook Peachtree Street downtown, right across from the Georgia Pacific building. I don’t even HAVE any windows in my new office. Grumble.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!